More new beginnings... and very sad endings...

I know this post is late, but I now have no job. I felt that instead of having so many people asking me what happened with it, I'd explain.

I was maternity cover from September 2009 to July 2010 for my stepmother at a school, as Assistant Bar Manager for a bar that was for thesixthformers of the school.

And I loved it.

I mean, I have a good work ethic, and I've enjoyed every job I've ever had, but this one was special...

I poured my heart and soul into this job, for the sixthformers. UV and Neon themed club nights, complete with DJ's, lights, and UV body paint. Cross-dressing night (with some very convincing men-women). Live music, single artists and school bands.

I loved it, I loved the kids, gosh did I love those kids.

And then, my stepmother announced that she no longer wanted to come back after her maternity cover, and the school announced that it would be readvertising the role (as legally they had to), and with the full backing of several housemasters, ten months of hard work and great events behind me, and the love of the sixth form, I applied.

And for some reason, I was convinced I wouldn't get it. I don't know why, I just was. Stephen kept telling me not to be so pessimistic, and all thekid kept telln me that I'd get the job, no worries.

So imagine my surprise when I didn't even get an interview for the position.

Truly, I don't think I've been so heartbroken since a boy I used to date who went to Aberystwyth University told me he loved me, but didn't think he could be faithful to me whilst he was away at said university. I mean, *that* was heartbreaking enough, but this... Good gods.

And the worst part?

Feeling like I'd let my kids down... Not my own biological son, you see, but all the sixth formers whom I had watched grow over the past academic year... The ones who had brought shedloads of joy into my life...

I mean, fair enough, Toby O. peed in my garden... Patrick F. puked over the side of the decking... Martha C. pretty much passed out and fell asleep on the decking in the middle of winter after drowning her sorrows due to boy trouble... Jack M. coming to me and telling me "Emma, I am *comPLETELY* inebriated!"... Julian C. snotting on my clothes whilst drunk... A certain Mr Miller who just would NOT stop smoking!

And yet, I still continued to love my job. Even when they insisted on having awful music playing. For a bunch of upper class white kids, they sure do want to be from the ghetto! Having kids coming to confide in me was wonderful... Laughing with them... Watching them mature, even over the short amount of ten months...

So yes, finding out I wasn't staying broke my heart. I know Stephen was worried about me when I spent several hours after finding out not speaking, just sat there going "I just don't understand."

And I still don't.

And I'm still heartbroken.

But...

I'm going to be my usual sunny self and make the best of the whole thing. I will relish spending more time with my son and brand new husband... getting to focus on my baking and cooking

But I am going to miss Will... and Harry... and Paddy... and Nico... and Lara... and Oliver... and Toby... and Emma... and Piers... and Ross... and a whole bunch of others...


Thank you so much, guys... It was a pleasure... xXx